Tofu: Yes? No?

Oh no...
I don't like this debate.
Being a Mostly veggie and anti-cow's milk, I live for soy milk and tofu and other soy products.
I don't eat them all the time, except when I have cereal, then I have soy milk almost every day.  I live in Asia, where tofu is more of the common diet than even in the States.
So, how is it that the States say it's terrible to eat when you're preggo, but Asians think I'm crazy when I mention that it could be bad.
They say that tofu has estrogen properties-and that women who are/have had breast cancer should never eat tofu.  I keep hearing tofu.  What about other soy products?  There has been some talk about them.
They say it's worst for the pregnant woman if she's carrying a boy, for obvious reasons.  However, you can't find that out for a bit.
Some say that moderation is the key-just don't overdo it.  If you have a soy product once or even twice a week, it shouldn't be a big deal.
Others say don't eat it at all.
If you read message boards, you see the debates.
However, if you look at pregnancy websites where they list healthy food and recipe options for pregnant women, they all state tofu somewhere, and soy in general.
Debate goes between doctors and nutritionists-some doctors and nutritionists say yes, some say no.
So, who is right?